Ayn Rand Interview

Interview with Mike Wallace 1959
Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Atlas...

Shrugged. The greatest work I have ever read.

Social Structures

What are they, and what type do of structure do you live in? I'm guessing you might know that we live in a capitalistic society, but more than likely you can not explain in depth what that means, nor the history of other systems such as Communism and Socialism. This is not an attempt to point a finger, it's just my responsibility to point out my own ignorance in these matters and faith that others are like myself. The three major structures that come to mind in my very recent research are Communism, Capitalism, and Socialism.

Communism

As long as can I remember the countries that operate under communism have been demonized by the media of America which has condition me to not consider it's ideas almost instinctively. I do not support the views of communism but understanding that the countries below currently operate in a Communistic state should provoke a desire to understand what those communistic fundaments are.

Countries that are currently full fledged or heavily influenced:

Brazil – Communist Party of Brazil
Bulgaria – Communist Party of Bulgaria
China – Communist Party of China leads the United Front
Cuba – Communist Party of Cuba
Cyprus – Progressive Party of Working People
Laos – Lao People's Revolutionary Party
Moldova – Party of Communists of the Republic of Moldova
Nepal – Communist Party of Nepal
North Korea – Korean Workers' Party
San Marino – Sammarinese Communist Refoundation
South Africa – South African Communist Party
Sri Lanka – Communist Party of Sri Lanka
Syria – Syrian Communist Party (Bakdash)
Uruguay – Communist Party of Uruguay
Vietnam – Communist Party of Vietnam

There are hundreds of communistic types which consist of Marxism, Stalinism, Maoism, to Leninism. So it is obviously unwise to universalize the concepts and ideas. I simply believe that it should be common knowledge to be able converse in the matters of communism and see the pros and cons to the fundaments that support the ideas of the structure itself. What do you think, and do you have an opinion on the matter?

Communism basic terminology-
Communism is the idea of a free society with no division or alienation, where mankind is free from oppression and scarcity. A communist society would have no governments, countries, or classes. It's a society based on common ownership of the means of production and property in general. Karl Marx posited that communism would be the final stage in human society, evolving into a classless, stateless society of "pure communism".

Capitalism

The second would be that of Capitalism which is the society we live in. If you are like me you have been born and raised here and do not know of much anything else. By brief definition capitalism would be defined as an economic system based on a free market, open competition, profit motive and private ownership of the means of production. Capitalism encourages private investment and business, compared to a government-controlled economy. Investors in these private companies (i.e. shareholders) also own the firms and are known as capitalists.

The countries that operate in this structure are mainly considered first world countries, I tried to get a specific list but was unsuccessful in doing so. This structure is based on private ownership in business, and property in a economic system ruled by profit. This is great for the hyper ambitious or which in turn create corporations that create jobs at minimal pay, but bad for the less ambitious who work their lives away for minimal pay. As far as I understand it, capitalism does create unbalanced classes and opportunities for legal monopolies to be enjoyed by the few on behalf of the majority. The structure was developed into a working fashion in England between the 16th and 19th centuries refining itself in a continuous fashion. Overall I consider this system the most beneficial in regards to personal freedoms and preferences verses the other major two with random exceptions.

Countries that are currently full fledged as far as I can tell:

United States
Canada
Japan
Australia
Europe
Many more
Eventually all

Socialism

Actually communism is said to be a branch of socialism or I have also seen quotes form Marx as stating that socialism was the bridge between Capitalism and Communism. According to Wikipedia: Socialists mainly share the belief that capitalism unfairly concentrates power and wealth among a small segment of society that controls capital and creates an unequal society. All socialists advocate the creation of an egalitarian society, in which wealth and power are distributed more evenly, although there is considerable disagreement among socialists over how, and to what extent this could be achieved.

Countries that are currently full fledged or heavily influenced:

Democratic People's Republic of Korea
People's Republic of Bangladesh
Arab Republic of Egypt
Cooperative Republic of Guyana
Republic of India
Great Socialist People's Libyan Arab Jamahiriya
Portuguese Republic (República Portuguesa)
Democratic Socialist Republic of Sri Lanka
Syrian Arab Republic
United Republic of Tanzania
Bolivarian Republic of Venezuela


It only seems to be inevitable to fore go extreme opposition and dispute when deciding actions for millions of people. Establishing a democracy for delegating individuals to make those decisions is a task enough of it's own not to mention have peaceful conclusions once things have been put into motion. One mainline government distributing wealth and position seems hard pill to swallow especially us Americans we feel as if we would have to give so much up. On the other hand, to have no debt and no pressure to chase some illusion of monetary gain and have the freedom to simply emphasize creativity and utilizing technology while experiencing human interaction free from profit based deception. It seems Utopian but worth a shot unfortunately it never was able thus far to live up to it's hopes and vision.

Conclusion

I have come to the conclusion I know little if any regards to these matters, but I am interested more than ever. I acknowledge I live in a once great fallen country but do believe there is still hope somewhere in the minds of the many who think not about these types of things. As I have begun to examine social structures I am convinced our most advance structure has been that of this capitalistic one. The downfalls are numerous but the main one I have noticed is the extreme stress almost everyone is under as we are ruled by this profit based system that basically turns us against each other. It is hard to trust people in that atmosphere and it creates many problems I do not believe are natural or genetic.

Therefore in my opinion I believe we should be able to appreciate each structures efforts in creating something better but I am convinced we need to lose faith in this structure and take the beneficial aspects while looking towards a better way. Maybe a natural resource based economy? Maybe anything that takes our lives out of the hands of the few and protects us from greed and power. It seems to me that we do need a new world order, a order that will protect us from governments and corporations and wicked son-bithes all together! Respectfully I do not offer answers, only suggestions such as maybe you should have an opinion too, since your in this thing as well as the rest of us. What do you think?

Slightly Important... Just Maybe

I recent years we have undergone extreme conditions regarding attacks upon our personal freedoms which protect us from corrupt governing. I have been questioning my local fellow Americans what they know of the Constitution and Bill of Rights and my findings have been beyond unsatisfactory and I am guilty as well.

The majority including myself and those I know, seem to have relied on others to relay and convey what our rights are while neglecting the responsibility to educate ourselves. I am not college educated and this might be common knowledge to those who are but according to my observations and experiences conversations on these matters are rare and broad. In my own life the Constitution has always been looked upon as a hard read and not easily understood so I never really paid no mind to it, but recently maybe due to simply growing into a more responsible role I have become more and more interested in matters of history, and social structures mainly the one I have been born and raised in.

From the conditions which we have came from Europe and the results in the early structuring of this nation, there is much to digest and ponder. Honestly, I do consider myself a novice in these matters and state I am just a simple man more or less with a blogg and piece of mind. Nevertheless I am a citizen of this young nation and the chief document protecting me from harm and social disaster is the Constitution of the United States of America which it only seems obvious that I should know this document and understand it. Not only I but every person who is a child of this nation should be able to break down and explain the rights that we have and could lose if we were to allow.

I understand that the times we live in are stressful and consuming, but we are not living in a happy peaceful America, although I'm sure you know this already i am just trying to convey that we must accept our shame in our ignorance and make a bold and conscience decision to change the situation. It is not acceptable to not know your rights. How can you fight if you don't know your rights?

This is not my idea of a lecture nor is it a topic that will come and go in it's importance, I believe it is essential and relevant to the times.

The constitution really isn't that complex if you break it down.

7 sections consisting of 21 articles, and 27 amendments.

If you are like me you are tuned to learning by ear, so here is the Constitution and the Bill of Rights in mp3 form. Just copy and paste link below.

https://www.yousendit.com/download/TTZtb2VONmM3N0JMWEE9PQ

I will try to renew the link but if it's invalid email me and i will send directly to you.

Unbeneficial Results

I confess my guilt as a passionate hot headed spazz at times, but without getting in the muddy details of why's and childhood analysis, let's just say I have had just and unjust reasons nevertheless. What's important is my current stand to resist the moments of childish rage and defensive tactics of retaliation.

The most recent events have shown me my consistency in not communicating beneficially. I like many have come to a place in life that has aroused a desire to understand history more as well as our political and monetary systems considering the reality of they're effect on my life and country, and fellow humans in the world today. Some of my learning's have invoked feelings of anger, betrayal, helplessness, and frustration to name. To learn what completely alters your worldview it is not an easy digest, and being that i have to interact with the world some people end up catching the butt end of these emotions.

For example, a friend of mine was over a few weeks ago and caught me in one of these helpless emotional modes. I completely came across the wrong way and the next thing you know we are yelling at each other needlessly and aimlessly. The whole situation was unfortunate and unnecessary. There are many ways to communicate but what I have found in my own experience is that for the most part people do not want to listen to someone who is angry, frustrated, and problem focused. Dialogue is the healthy way to converse and should be done in a way that is aware of the perception of the ones with whom you are speaking. Ranting and venting can have they're place but not in dialogue nor discussion.

No situation is the same, but many times there are universal principles to apply, these are the ones I intend to apply for the rest of my life.

1. Think before I speak of what will happen I you do.
2. Listen to what people are saying to find out what they are meaning.
3. Speak kindly of others, and refrain from all negative gossip.
4. Respond not to sarcasm and cynical remarks, regard them as not my problem.
5. Admit when I am at fault or in error.
6. Remain calm and focused on maintaining a respectable and accepting composure.
7. Use simple and understandable concepts to communicate.
8. Respect the other persons and their opinions.
9. Respond positively to all negative judgments towards my objectives and goals.
10. Look people in the eyes when I speak to them.
11. Remember that my opinions are valuable.

I have come to a place where I must change how I communicate and anything less than these above applying principles is unacceptable. I can tolerate not being liked for my objectives, goals or beliefs, but for mere immaturity and lack of respect for others is something that can be prevented and changed.

" It is better to have the appearance of a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt"
- Mark Twain

Smells Bushy

I do not believe he is the leader or conspirator to much of anything, but we did elect him into one of the most influential positions that you can have as a human in the eyes of the PUBLIC, and I believe he fits the profile of a lot of things with the exception of someone who is really for your personal freedoms. Here are some things you might want to consider.





Here are his profound words after the 9/11 disgrace.



Here's another take on the 9/11 disgrace.

Do You Know About Eugenics?

If you wish to skip introduction fast forward to 3 min.

For The Believer Who Watches Zeitgeist.

Ana Says:
July 8, 2008 at 2:20 am

I do think this movie has several good points. As much as we don’t want to hear what is said in this movie, we need to listen. I absolutely agree with the whole “we are human beings. we have the right to know the truth, live freely, and be happy” concept. However, the public is not going to be so easily persuaded. It is truly a huge blow to hear that practically everything you have known has been a lie and you are ultimately being controlled. Its easier to dismiss everything in the movie.

People really should research this stuff and be encouraged to discover the truth themselves, whether or not the claims in Zeitgeist are real or false. That in and of itself is a good lesson. I’m sure not everything in this movie is 100% true (though i’m sure any mistakes were not intentional). But to all those religious “debunkers” out there, who are calling this movie “ridiculous” and such, take a look at your own beliefs. You believe in writings that have absolutely no proof of authenticity! THE only “proof” you possess is your undying faith in the tripe! It seems quite more pathetic to me to believe in some widespread book than the mere possibility of something different!

Religion makes absolutely no sense to me whatsoever! Do you honestly think a person will be condemned to a fiery pit for all of eternity for a single mistake in this lifetime, no matter how large? The response may come as something like: “You must pray to God to repent for your sins”. Praying to God and being “forgiven” at the snap of a finger, just gives one liscense to go out and “sin” more because they know that they will always be “forgiven”. Of course you need to recognize and perhaps apologize for mistakes you have made, but in no way can i believe that this “God”, who you claim loves us all so much, could ever condemn one for eternity. Just the same, i cannot fathom how a figure known as “Satan” could ever affect the people of Earth, much less exist. “Satan” or “The Devil” is, in my opinion, just a false idol that religious individuals use to blame all their problems on, instead of taking responsibility for their actions.

Do you realize you are living out of fear? Fear of being condemned to Hell. Fear of being rejected. Fear of change. Fear of being different.
Fear of THINKING FOR YOURSELF.

My Buddy Muneshine

Big Mune and I worked on a project together like 5 years back called OriginalJesusMusic. He has come a long way and I support what he's doing. Check him out, he is an amazing producer and quite dope on the mic too. Don't Sleep on this cat!!! And Oh! make sure you check out the joint with Fundament! That whole video is crazy fresh. Enjoy!










on Vimeo.

A Good Woman.

I must say that if you have found one... appreciate her and do what you can to make it work. My wife is such an amazing human! Her love for me is inspiring, sincere and trustworthy. I could say many things regarding her but to sum it up she is the best thing that has ever happened to me and I am a very fortunate man to have made the commitment to her side. Of course it's not always a walk in the park but it is well worth the struggles.

If you ever have a similar opportunity to experience what I have experienced the last 3+ years you will not regret it my friend, you will not regret it. Don't let that one truly good woman get away due to a insatiable vagabond prospective. Truly genuine and supportive women are not an easy find.

If you got one love one.

Sincerely,
The Peanut Gallery

At Least Consider...

Reaction vs, Action

In a recent court ordered AA meeting I had the pleasure of enduring over 20 people express god assertions and program success testimonies. It gets to be most difficult when the topics are centrally based on, or revolving around god in which today's topic was "knowledge of god's will for us, and the wisdom to stop struggling and fighting against it, letting his plan for us triumph" these types of topics are hard for me to process and share when the time comes for me to speak or pass.

First off an assertion is something that is assumed but cannot be proven either way, and if you pay attention to most conversations they are filled with assertions especially religious conversations such as in this particular meeting. These are some of the ones I can remember that were shared in one way or another.

god is a HE
god has a universal and ultimate plan for mankind
god has a ultimate plan for you and I
god wants you to know what that plan is
god needs your prayers and meditation to help you
god wrote the bible
the bible is absolute truth
god can be offended
god speaks to you
god spoke to the AA blue book authors
if it wasn't for the program I would be...

With all of these things being collectively accepted I am faced with overload of thoughts as to weather I just pass, maybe challenge the ideas, go totally off subject, or try to find a way to creatively relate. Well I didn't choose the later it was just too hard at the moment. I decided to react to all these assertions instead putting into action creative transparency. I said my name and stated that I did not work the steps but did have had a desire not to drink which unfortunately equates to limited program appreciation. I just said some broad and vague statements about life and quickly passed.

I knew as soon as it happened that I completely reacted to the whole situation versus controlling my emotions enough to be able to share the information and experience that might be beneficial for another. When I first began going to these meetings I was very intrigued by the peoples honesty and openness for some time, but the thrill has gone and long passed due to the "he's new so gets a free pass when he objects to our assertions" has run out. These are the twelve steps that I find to be unacceptable for me.

The Alcoholics Anonymous 12 steps

1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable.

2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

5. Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

I have over 120 days of sobriety which equates to roughly 40-50 meetings that I have attended and over half of the meetings are centrally focused on the "god as we understand him" subject which I choose to leave a mystery. Either way and everything else a side, my whole rant is to point out how this experience has caused me to face this battle between Reaction vs Action.

Jeaque Fresco

This man is extremely interesting. He's 92 and still moving and out thinking the majority of us. I have enjoyed being challenged by this man, he has a whole different approach to most things. Here's a snippet.

The Magic of Communion

I believe the most thrilling and relevant experiences I have ever had outside of personal inner self growth have been the magic that happens when transparent people gather and commune with no judgment, counsel, or correction. Too often when you might be sharing your heart or expressing your anxiety, anger, fear, confusion, etc. your listener tends to play counselor or big brother as if they do not experience the same feeling to some degree in some way or another. Not to say that you sit and have a pity party and call it beneficial, but the ability to listen empathize, encourage, and challenge each other in creative ways instead of talking at people, we talk to people.

Speaking with a sense of comradery and appreciation causes growth to come in both people while strengthening the bond and inspiring openness and oneness on a human level, not some spooky spiritual deal but in a way that recognizes all of us have relative experiences and can relate far more than we acknowledge to realize.

90% of the time for me at least, words do not capture my feelings or express my essence of experience. To just look someone in the eyes and transcend surface regularity, we can see ourselves in each other, and have no need to explain ourselves for they know as well deep down we share more than words relay. It's people magic and I find it to be the most amazing thing.

Scientific Restrictions

Yes, I voted to further stem cell research and have not one objection to the research weather the attempt to clone or not. There should be less opposition towards scientific expansion and development and more support for these scientist and engineers striving to make this world a better place. The things that should be opposed in my opinion are the nuclear fuckwads who keep pursuing new methods of destruction and power for the sake and benefit of no one. Einstein himself stated "I made one great mistake in my life... when I signed the letter to President Roosevelt recommending that atom bombs be made".

I believe that finding ways to further medical research is one of the most beneficial things we can do as a human race and we should stop hindering and eliminating progress that could have been achieved years if not decades ago. From Tim Leary and his psychological research that was proven in almost all his experiments (clinically supervised by qualified experts) to show amazing change and growth in the neuro field, to the stem cell scientist today, we continue to limit our possibilities due to fear and manipulation projected by critical naiveism that induces nothing but ignorance and furthered limitations that are not as some would say "God's job and decision".

Get informed and let's utilize the opportunities that are possible. Would you be willing to set aside your pessimistic views on these subjects if one or more of your loved ones were in desperate need of help from one of these fields of controversy? I would and will. For the sake of the ones I do not know and will never meet. It is up to us to snap out of it, and acknowledge every advancement we have is due to technology, not politicians and their decisions for us.

We got it!!!

We put an offer in on our house a few weeks back and we got it! 3 Bedroom, 2 bath, 2 stall attached garage, and full basement for $55,200 including 6& sales concession closing costs. It's been a long process and isn't over yet. We have applied for a 203K loan which would enable us to get an additional loan tied into our mortgage for hope fully $10-15,000. As long as the improvements we make increase the value of the home according to the appraisers before and after predictions.

The house fit the geographic specs and seems to be an all around good deal. We had looked at and/or walked through 30-50 homes including extensive online research with help of my brother in law real estate agent Brian Brinkert of Tri-County professionals. I would recommend thorough research to interested home buyers and a trust worthy agent to assist your in the journey, it has been very helpful. Good sites or organizations that helped us along the way were "SWMRIC" and "PRUDENTIAL REAL ESTATE" and "COLDWELLBANK" was helpful too in our local home searches.

Sit down bite your cheek and WATCH IT!!!

Dirty Mirrors

Those who believe they are helpless and weak, become just that. See what you really are, clean the mirror foo!

On Another Note...

I think we all at one time or another have had a sense that something is wrong. Many turn to religion or some type of spiritual reasoning to shape out some answers, while others tend to be less biased in their approach to do the same. Either way, we are in this thing together and have the similar feeling or sense nonetheless. Obviously the reasons could be endless, but there is only one common theme I wish to address and that is: The idea of man over man, and governmental empires.

People of the more religious worldview tend to be of great support to these ideas for example the elders in the church, pope, prophet etc. Because of that foundation for many it only seems logical for there ought to be elders in the communities, state and country. Which all in all might be true, I do not know. Regardless of who's right and wrong there is a common idea in every culture, and that is that there is some type of currency or trading value system setup. In none of the sacred texts that I know of is there any detailed explanation of how that money system should be set up and maintained.

With that being said I notice the game we are all playing and the toll it takes on our ability to think, reason, and question. How did we get to this point? and Where are we going as a society?, Who is in charge? Why are they in charge? and Who put them there? These questions are likely to be answered vaguely and passively.

Am I a slave? Do I have the ability to live as I desire and go as I please? Possibly and I would have to say no and no. It seems we are being governed by who knows who or what, and have hardly any rights at all if you consider the natural state of things and the loss of our bill of rights which hardly apply currently. In the midst of all our labor and fun it seems the common mind is too consumed to even entertain these ideas or too busy being entertained to care about or consider. I believe we have been a longtime project of people with extreme influence and power. Royal blood lines, and super families for the first time ever actually are creating the opportunities to be able to monitor everyone in an extremely detailed way. Not to mention pursuit their agenda of scientific created prolonged life spans.

Whomever controls the money controls the people! More and more I cannot find anything untrue about that statement. Could it be that we witnessing the culmination of centuries long super family agendas. They have been the major part of the every empire we have ever had as a human race and it seems to me that we must consider the possibility of being the recipients of long winded patient and strategic manipulation and deceit.

Fukit......it's endless.

Are we pawns? or the kings creator? What can we do?

People...

Are the treasure.

How About You?

I do not know my world history.

How about you?

No Lie...

I am completely sober and still completely skeptical. We will have new Michigan ID'S next year. They will probably cost $50-60 and have a special magnetic strip with who knows what the fuck goes on it. It will be as good as the passport in Canada and Mexico our new countries! Find out what you can on the "NAU" It will blow your mind.

Some last words from Bob

Robert Anton Wilson, author and lecturer. Left the building in 06, and I have just stumbled upon his books in the past few months. A great mind and worthy of some research.

Who Makes The Grass Green?

It seems to me that my attitude is my responsibility. Big revelation huh? Well it has turned out to be more challenging for me to be optimistic vs. skeptical and pessimistic. Naturally or by habit, I have developed into someone who tends to find "the catch" in almost every situation, it's a fucking curse. My troubles with this line of thinking almost certainly began as a child, I learned to not put much faith in people's promises, and It's grown into the loss of faith in mankind as a whole at times. I believe most of us have been conditioned to support our lack of hope in ourselves and each other.

I envy envy the optimist approach, and I am on a quest to arrive at their holy happiness and hope! To always see the glass half full, and never bout with insecurity and self doubt ever again! Well... I'm sure it's not like that, but I am determined to find out what it is like to be hopeful and encouraged no matter what, at any given moment. I must learn the art of "The Greener Side". I am the master who makes the grass green, and it seems to me to be my job to view my life a bit more greener.

My lawn is good, my lawn is grand, and yes I am the weather man.

Second time...

This is the second time my wife and I have been outbid in our house hunting journey. We put an offer in at $84,999 including 6% sales concession covered by seller, and than we had to up our offer to $90.000 including 6% sales concession covered by seller, but our offer was beaten by a buyer who had $85,000 Cash.

The process of house hunting is damn near a full time job, from being online to physically looking at homes it is, or can be very consuming. All of the financing and whatnot is quite complicated, not to mention all the mental notes regarding each home you look garage, basement, sq. feet, and the list goes on). I guess we are back to the drawing board. Hopefully we will find the right home soon. Paying $800 in rent for a 725 sq. foot 2 bed room apartment is a motherfucker.

Sponsor Phil

There is a guy at my AA classes that has consistently been a pleasure to listen to. Mid fifties and full of stories I am drawn to his ability to find humor in the small things and tends to keep an attitude I admire. Turns out he used to play for the Chicago Blackhawks and is still in the hockey world scouting young bucks. My P.O. suggested I get a sponsor to assist me in the program. Now I am not so much into following the program, it is difficult for me to deal with the God part like a step, and etc.

I usually leave before the closing "Lord's Prayer", but this time i stuck it out and approached Phil. He seemed delighted to have my interest and At this time in all honesty I'm not really struggling with not drinking, or taking pills, so I don't plan on having to call anyone to talk me out of anything, I'm a little to hard headed for that shit anyhow, but I can definitely foresee going fishing with this man and just listening to his stories.

I am glad to be sober and I enjoy getting up at 7am to attend these meetings. For me personally it is a good way for me to start the day. Grown folk dealing with grown folk issues, that's what it really is. Even if you don't follow the program, the doors are open to anyone who "Desires not to drink".

Working In The Past.

I have a goal to reach in my musical endeavors, that is to create, and complete 26 projects in my career. They must be 30 min. or more, and obviously worthy of listening to. The trouble with the whole deal is, my turnover rate can't keep up with my new creativity. It is hard to capture the essence of a song you wrote months ago, and are now finally getting around to.

With that being said, I need to focus on recording songs as I write them, and try to focus on pushing my energy towards my best work yet. I am not as confident with my past work as much as I am with my current, and it gets frustrating trying to catch up before I get to my now material.

I am beginning to understand what works best for me. If I am to be excited about my music, it must be fresh to me or I get bored with it quickly. Progression is the key, but letting some work be the stepping stone for others is hard for me to do. So many beats and so many songs that just don't make the cut. I would like to utilize everything, but in reality it's impractical.

Boonie Mayfield

I love this cat!

6 Classics

These 6 classics have changed my musical life in one way or another. What makes them classic? Obviously production plays a large part, but so does the content, teamwork, swagger, freshness, and overall energy. I appreciate these LP's because they are the essence of an art that I have come to love. If you are a hip hop appreciator or just interested, I would recommend them highly. Enjoy.

Future Humans

Can you imagine being able to see, and taste sound, or running barefoot in 20 below weather? This video is one of a few that Discovery did, it showcases 4 people with amazing abilities, and scientist that might be able to extract it genetically. Video 4 of 10. Enjoy

Crash!!!

I'm not sure if you have had the joy of all your hard work being threatened. But I can assure you that it is quite a fucking ride. It would be great, and grand to just have that careless easygoing approach to all the unfortunate things that happen in life, but I am not there at this time. What happened? Well, my computer crashed and I lost who knows how many hours of work, and over $1,400 in money spent on what is no more. I had a virus infection some time back and just medicated it with AVG and whatnot assuming that I was fine, but obviously that was a fantasy.

It all went down when the blue screen took over my monitor and left me like a child in the basement, scared and anticipating the worst. It was what I was afraid of. After the initial stomach drop, I attempted to service my problem but ended up with dead ends from all angles. I worked with an obsession for 6 days and 5 nights to get this computer in good standing and it finally as of last night at 3am was up and running. I did not spend a dime in the process.

Being in the middle of so much work and progress this really caught me off guard. looking back in hindsight I would do things differently, but I learned a great deal in the process. Even though i lost a lot, I gained a lot of technical knowledge, and my system is much more stable, and organized. One bit of advice i would give, is to make sure that you have your important stuff backed up and that you take care of viruses caught early on. DO NOT procrastinate unless you have nothing to lose.

In regards to the careless approach that some would say that is the best way to handle tings, I must say, that if it was not for my passion and sheer determination to not lose EVERYTHING, I would not have what I still have. Many would have lost it all.

Acknowledging potential

At work last night I listened to the well known motivational speaker Zig Ziglar. The teaching was called "Building a healthy self image". He is quite entertaining as he immediately breaks into a short story with no introduction. The first point he made that really grabbed me was "If your word is no good, than eventually neither are you". and the second point was "if you help others get what they want you will get what you want". For me these points and good gems for everyday living and interactions.

The stories are inspiring and practical, emphasizing responsibility as the number one need in America, and commitment to goals that we set. The ingredient to help these matters is recognizing there importance and inspiring optimism. Having a game plan is so key he points out, stating that you get so much more done when you are decisive and focused. The history of great people who have impacted our world, a large percentage of them have served in some form of military training which deals with these matters of discipline.

2 statements he made had carry a whole lot of significance for me."People with nothing to do, want to do it with you". and "People may not believe everything you say, but they will believe everything you do". The first is one of my pet peeves and can get me frustrated fast because I feel as if i always have something to do and rarely like to just to nothing. The second because I would rather not talk about things as much as I would rather take action.

"No one can make you feel inferior without your permission". The reality of this is pretty impacting because I can easily shift into comparing myself with the best in the world and be discouraged because of it. Not taking into account the progression of growth and not valuing myself or abilities can easily become the snare of comparison.

"Choose your friends carefully, because if you run with the wise, you too will become wise" And the big one for many of us hit home good. "If you want to build a healthy self image, than avoid pornography, because anything that degrades man kind degrades you". These are very applicable things for me, and I'm sure you as well. If not and this guy is all hype, and full of self help B.S. I guess I'm a sucker, because I'm about to buy one of his books right now.

Oh and I forgot to mention a great formula he had:

Acknowledging potential equals purpose, which naturally creates production, and performance.

How do you see you?

Only you...

Only you can control what you do. Of course you can play games and manipulate, but there is never any guarantees except for responsibility for our actions. I think I have just lived through a perfect example, if you attempt to control how others act, you will end up in emotional bondage. You just can't keep anyone happy all the time, and still do you.

When I get in my lab to work, or write and my girl let's me know she is feeling unappreciated, or neglected. Immediately creativity halts, and comes to a fucken standstill. There is no blowing it off, and saying whatever. Maybe that works with girlfriends you don't live with, but when it's your wife, and you live together. You have no where to go, and get your work done without dealing with the situation or scrapping any plans of progress and focus.

Energy turns bitter and frustrated, feeling like it's being persecuted for being itself, and has to defend it's ground as if talking for the sake of talking is more important. I get all in my head, pissed off about the lack of privacy and lack of respect for my work and desires to gets some shit done.

So after the 2-5 min mood altering sour conversation, I end up fuming wanting to fucken break something. I'm right your wrong is the same old dance, and usually someones ego has to be a doormat for the jamboree to end without sayin some real mean ass shit. Been there done that, and I acknowledge that my reactions are mine, and my responsibility to manage. Everyone else can carry there own baggage, being a bell boy is a waste of time, I've got my own luggage to manage.

God dabblen.

Going to AA classes and constantly facing the "higher power" topic, I have had no choice but to ponder on my own god theories. If you know me and my history, than I wouldn't have to explain, but assuming you don't so I will briefly update you.

From 2001 through 2005 I was a dedicated follower of fundamental evangelicalism, or otherwise known as Christianity. Due to various learnings, and reflections, I came out on the other side not convinced either way, I simply did not know and still do not know who god is, or what are universal purpose is and am not convinced anyone does. With that being stated, I became, and still might be very skeptical and weary of god talk and god theories.

I have come to realize that I am not as tough, disciplined nor many other things that I have once believed. Not that I'm a victim, but definitely a product of modern culture hence; addicted to comfort, convenience and false security. In spite of all that, I am faced with grown man shit everyday, and it seems to be completely human to look to something beyond ourselves, to strengthen us, guide us, and protect us from things we would like to not be overcome by.

Honestly I am not sure where i stand on all of it, because of all the different prospectives I have endured and studied. From looking within, to looking above there seems to be relevance in it all, which makes my theories more complicated or harder to work through to shape my own. One thing is true, that everyone else's views we have heard over the years dramatically affects our own, and everyone has needs that their concept of god will usually be able to fill. So I'm sure my own theories will not be too original, for I like many others have been plagued with the curse of much information.

Are you talking to yourself, or actually talking to god? I'm not sure, but whatever it takes to improve, and do what we know to be right seems to be the best we can do, I guess. I will keep updating this topic for the rest of my life I'm sure.

Morning anger

Anyone have anger issues? I do. The reasons differ, but overall at times i can be a fucken prick. I'm not defending it because I know it is usually unjustified. I am honestly considering anger management. Today i woke up and was just annoyed at about everything, didn't want to get out of bed, wife wanted me to do various things i didn't want to do, go to AA, look for houses, no milk, etc. So i kind of snapped at my lady, made some coffee, had a cig, and went to AA. The topic was Anger, and "centering" your thoughts on your higher power. After the meeting I apologized to my wife for being impatient, and found out about anger management classes for $5 a session, I think I shall look into it.

Why I was so frustrated today waking up? I'm not sure, but it's not worth wasting the day in that mindset. If i am frustrated with myself, I should probably figure out why. It is no fun being edgy and unsatisfied half of your days.

The myth of the golden tongue

It’s hard to be whatever age we are. From being kids who can’t go and do as they wish, to the moments of teenage boredom and peer reliance, we all know we come to face even more challenging issues in adulthood. The list goes on, I am in no mood to relay it eloquently, so I might as well say it. Life can be fucking hard and complicated.

Maybe undisciplined emotions are to blame, or maybe we need to be reminded of the bigger picture with George Winston playing in the background. I am not sure what to do sometimes with the issues I face in the present, from all the ranges of topics the most complicated is the realm of human relations.

We all keep growing, and forgetting what we’ve learned in comparable ratios, leading us up and down complicated paths of decision and communication. If I was as smart as I sometimes think I am, I would have the golden tongue in every situation, but I obviously have an everyday ego that deceives me into believing a lie. I desire that people are inspired to be better by my presence or essence, but I acknowledge that I just have a real hard time pleasing everybody as a matter of opinion, and I don’t think it’s possible to, nor should be the objective or goal. My seemingly pointless rant comes down to what I believe to be a universal reality.

” No matter what age we are, there is always hardships that are misunderstood year to year”

There is enough time in the day.

So much to do and so much to learn, it seems to become more and more difficult the older I get. I am in dire need of some personal rituals to keep me inline.

Things to keep the day productive.

1. Make a list of daily goals
2. Set priorities
3. Treat everything as an appointment.
4. Plan on things not going exactly as planned.

There is enough time in the day for me to accomplish my goals. My current goals are reachable and realistic.

Weekly Goals :

Piano for 2 hours
Make 2-4 Beats that are acceptable
Blog 5 times
Record 2 songs
Follow daily priority lists
Work on 1-2 Photoshop projects
Read the paper 3 times a week
Journal ideas on where you want to be.

As of right now, this will be enough to get me moving.

Not comforting

The way it should be…

When I get frustrated I usually show it. My standards I put on myself tend to be puked on those closest to me. I have got to keep focused on what’s important at the end of the day. My wife feeling loved and appreciated should be on the top of my list, but it tends to get misplaced along the way.

She means well and really is a great wife, good person, and has an enjoyable character. I need to find a way to balance all of this. Being a newlywed is not that easy, it is filled with these preconceived notions on both ends that have to be worked through daily. Why I get so easily angered I am not sure, but being an asshole is not the way rectify anything.

It’s easy to not take the responsibility, and even easier to get even more upset. I am not finding any comfort in writing this.

This is not the way it should be.

Bitchassness

If there a way to set the tone at any given time… I want that power.

Between the hours of 5pm and 9pm, I feel the most alert mentally and creatively. This time is when my ability to express with a certain magic tends to be the strongest. Mornings tend to do me no justice and evenings at home seem to be interruptive of my wife’s idea of what they should be. Could it be that I need to change my work hours which are 2pm-10pm M-F? Or is there some way to transcend these circumstances and just be able to perform what is needed to be accomplished.

Mr. Puff Daddy himself has a personal spin on this type of situation I had observed, and he calls my condition “Bitchassness”. He spoke of the responsibility to get things done and press through all my little circumstances, no matter how you feel you must get the job done. Period.

Being Honest

“There is no honesty in pride”

Could this be true? As far as I can tell, there is no thing to convince me otherwise. There is moments when people shine like no other time, and to me that is when they are able to be completely honest. These days and many of long ago it has been improper, inappropriate, rude, unnecessary, or just bad taste to be too honest and too revealing. Is it possible to be too honest? I’m sure if you asked a married person the answer would be yes but I have a difficult time appreciating that answer as a true one.

We have to be on guard, and role play in this society to protect our hard earned egos. It is a way of life that I wish could somehow be reviewed and recanted , but it seems our culture would crumble if real honesty was to have it’s way in our world. We feel we have to fabricate our true feelings to our fellow human to keep the peace, and level of comfort stable. What would relationships be like if complete honesty could have it’s way? I am afraid to say we will never find out, due to our fear of being rejected, but it is still possible, isn’t it? If not… it is a depressing thought.

I have observed that we are most likely to be vulnerable with people we don’t know verses people we do. It is therapeutic to be honest, and in an atmosphere of openness. One can be him or herself with no threat of it being held against them. Just being deflated of pride and ego letting the real feelings arise and be released. It tends to calm the soul and bring about a sense of cleansing. No holding things back, and pretending to be someone we are not, and deceiving those around us, but letting them in to our world of emotion and be able to let them empathize with us, and us with them. Pride has no place in those settings, but should be handled with compassion if it just so happens to show up.

Letting Go...

I like to be in control. I do not like roller coasters, I do not like riding shotgun in cars, I do not like relying on people to get things done. I have a feeling that I do not trust that things will work out, maybe that is due to them not working out in my favor in past situations, or it could be that I have always tried to be in control and have suffered the effects of things not going my way.

Both could be in play, I suppose there is no absolute answer to my thoughts, but I sense that I have the addiction of control. Not that I am some freak who is unable to work with others and has psychotic fits when things don’t roll in his favor, but just the type of person who puts the same demands on others that he puts on himself, therefore imposing obligations that are unable to be fulfilled by the other which produces tension, and unfruitful situations.

‘Let life be on life’s terms, not mine’ I must say that rings true. A way to just let go a little by little, relax, and focus on what I can do at the moment. I tend to neglect now, and spend much time regretting later. Not like I’m crying about this and that, but just feeling like I’m not getting enough done, or feeling like my progress is not up to par. Maybe it’s because it’s not even possible to get done what I am expecting, maybe my demands are further than my reach and clearly out of my control.

My past has not dealt me the best cards, and I accept that when I was I played quite a few hands unwisely, but due to bad parenting or lack there of., I have been programmed in sense to predict and almost expect the negative or worst case scenario syndrome. It still is affecting me now and interfering with current projects and progress. What must I do to change how I think? I don’t know , but I think that it is up to me. To one, let life be in control and learn to let go a little, and two relax and focus on what I can do now.

AA Class

I went to my first AA meeting yesterday, surprisingly I enjoyed it. I left feeling like I used to back in the church days. It seems that the testimonies and positive attitudes really can be quite soothing to the soul. True companionship was present, and the people were genuine in conduct and just good company all the way around.

I once read a book by Dale Carnegie, he suggested that places like that are perfect grounds for public speaking practice. Hopefully I will take advantage of the opportunity to gain some more experience in that department, because I was slightly unfocused when they called on me to speak. Afterwards I thought “I’m just better one on one with people, verses group settings.” Bullshit, that might be true but can’t fly. If you need to work in that area… than do it.

The topic was “Turning points, and half measures avail us nothing.” I could relate a little with each speaker, but the prospective that everyday is turning point, resonated with me quite well. The stories of each person have a way of getting inside you and empathizing, kicking up the dust and drawing out your own experiences. I found it to be honest and comforting I am looking forward to my next meeting in an hour and a half.

“Today is unlike any other day, I can do more than I am able to comprehend, and the power of life that lies in me, is waiting to be exercised. I can help make this world a better place, and I don’t need any substance to do it. God is alive in me, and no one can offend me, I have nothing to gain by being self absorbed. Today is a great day, and I will enjoy myself and others in it”

Playin game

“What I must do is all that concerns me, not what people think.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

Somewhere along the road it seems that we pick up the need to please people . Not everyone of course, but companions, family members, employers, associates, and the law are usually top of the list. I’m sure if you asked someone if they were a people pleaser, they would most likely deny it and probably take offense, but if they analyze their conduct in an unbiased fashion, they would most likely see the small details that can leave them corrected and intrigued by their own conformity.

I, a self proclaimed non-conformist must say, that after some current events and hard thought, I realize that I have become in many ways, no different than most worldly, approval seeking, people pleaser's. The professionals would most likely trace it back to our childhoods and are probably right. Parenting good or bad has shaped our thinking in many ways, but our parents or overseers can’t take credit for all of it., we picked up the ball along the way, and have been running with it ever since.

How does it happen…?
I would say gradually. We have definitely been programmed or at least our behavior has been modified to maintain our role in society.

Chain of events

“Anger is never without a reason, but seldom with a good one.”- Ben Franklin.

In my opinion when you are angry with yourself, it’s the worst. There is no one else to blame. When it’s someone else’s fault you can accept it and deal with it almost instantly. Tell them it’s alright, to be more careful next time, and it’s over, but when YOU are to blame it’s a whole different ball game. The situation at hand tends to replay itself over and over rubbing your carelessness, irresponsibility or forgotten mental note in your face until you crucify yourself silly.

YOU are to blame. You could have prevented it. What were you thinking? Do you ever learn your lessons? What the hell is wrong with you? These are just some of the nicer things that tend to run through your head. Nevertheless, if your anything like me you begin to blame others, start rationalizing your innocence, and shifting responsibility towards them, all in the same moments of thought. The outcome still puts you in the loser seat and with an edgy attitude towards any who might have helped in your bad decisions.

Anger definitely alters your prospective. Nice guy one minute, and frickin psycho the next, without any warning just a change of events and circumstances and there you go, pissed off and ready to snap, especially towards any who might bear any responsibility. A burning sick to your stomach like when you lose your much needed wallet, or end up in jail, or crashing your parents car with no insurance. These are all preventable situations based on bad decisions, and when they happen and your to blame, it feels like your instantly high on emotion. Fear, rage, regret, self haterd all come rushing to your senses and smack you with relentless force.

There has got to be a better way of handling these emotions. Maybe it’s normal to feel those overwhelming feelings, or maybe we are to hard on ourselves. I’m sure what to do in those situations. To fight the anger in a self counseling fashion tends to just piss me off more , but in the height of the moment there has got to be a way of maintaining a clear head, if not only for the sake of the people around me.

Pirates

There has got to be a way to access your own personal treasure. Meditation, prayer, self power, pure determination, and drugs seem to be the obvious influences in the lives of many writers, actors, musicians, entertainers, and many other peoples of greatness that we tend to be obsessed with in this day and age. But, what does it really take, to tap the well of our own personal greatness?

Many of us tend to mimic the path of others, like getting extremely high expecting the same results of the artist who claims to live on drug that we are with experimenting. Sometimes we might attend the same schooling, move to the same city, imitate the individual or even take things further even. I’m sure some people have had success in these circumstances, and I’m positive many have failed.

What is the secret? Is there one? No I’m sure there is no universal answer. Each person is so different, from emotional states, past experiences, dreams, and talents it is impossible to have a cookie cutter steps to success program. But, I believe we do have a map, an internal map that only we can read.

What is the treasure to be found? Maybe it’s a life of solitude and quietness, maybe it’s on stage in front of millions, maybe it’s to start a new colony, or even to be the best at what ever you do. The routes to our greatness relies on us, or maybe it is all complete chance and luck, I don’t know. But, many as long as we keep looking at the map the treasure will be found.

Go Go people

“ There is no goodness, where simplicity and truth are absent” -Tolstoy

The world we live in now, much like past generations, has been in constant transformation regarding the personal time spent by individuals, and families.
Obviously work and education take up a good bulk of our time, but what we do with our other “time” determines a lot about us. Whether we realize it or not., simple or plain living seems a hassle to us. We tend to look for the fastest, most efficient way to do things which is all fine and well, but I believe the driving force behind that, is this sense of urgency to “utilize” anytime we have just to get things done and compete in this dog eat dog culture we have found ourselves placed in. It seems that anxiety tends to mold us to the common more than we tend to acknowledge.

Unfortunately, once someone has experienced some form of personal satisfaction or accomplishment due to the “hustle” it can become an addictive state of mind. Go go go! Always working, no time to just relax and ponder the reasons or roots of the work at hand. Why am I so fixated on doing this? Why do I get so agitated and impatient? Why do I create more work for myself than I can accomplish? Why am I doing this anyway? Is this really what I want? What are my motives? Are they pure, and good?, Or am I a product of envy, and complicity?

What happened to simple appreciation? We have become so fixated with attaining happiness, that it passes us by without boasting of our loss. It happens in the moments of trees whistling as we approach our car, the way that the bird sings as we walk out of the door, a smile from the one you love, and satisfaction a doing a job well done. Maybe if we are able to see how tense, unsatisfied, and ungrateful we are, the wake up might be enough o get us off autopilot. Either way it’s going to be humbling.