Going to AA classes and constantly facing the "higher power" topic, I have had no choice but to ponder on my own god theories. If you know me and my history, than I wouldn't have to explain, but assuming you don't so I will briefly update you.
From 2001 through 2005 I was a dedicated follower of fundamental evangelicalism, or otherwise known as Christianity. Due to various learnings, and reflections, I came out on the other side not convinced either way, I simply did not know and still do not know who god is, or what are universal purpose is and am not convinced anyone does. With that being stated, I became, and still might be very skeptical and weary of god talk and god theories.
I have come to realize that I am not as tough, disciplined nor many other things that I have once believed. Not that I'm a victim, but definitely a product of modern culture hence; addicted to comfort, convenience and false security. In spite of all that, I am faced with grown man shit everyday, and it seems to be completely human to look to something beyond ourselves, to strengthen us, guide us, and protect us from things we would like to not be overcome by.
Honestly I am not sure where i stand on all of it, because of all the different prospectives I have endured and studied. From looking within, to looking above there seems to be relevance in it all, which makes my theories more complicated or harder to work through to shape my own. One thing is true, that everyone else's views we have heard over the years dramatically affects our own, and everyone has needs that their concept of god will usually be able to fill. So I'm sure my own theories will not be too original, for I like many others have been plagued with the curse of much information.
Are you talking to yourself, or actually talking to god? I'm not sure, but whatever it takes to improve, and do what we know to be right seems to be the best we can do, I guess. I will keep updating this topic for the rest of my life I'm sure.
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