Unbeneficial Results

I confess my guilt as a passionate hot headed spazz at times, but without getting in the muddy details of why's and childhood analysis, let's just say I have had just and unjust reasons nevertheless. What's important is my current stand to resist the moments of childish rage and defensive tactics of retaliation.

The most recent events have shown me my consistency in not communicating beneficially. I like many have come to a place in life that has aroused a desire to understand history more as well as our political and monetary systems considering the reality of they're effect on my life and country, and fellow humans in the world today. Some of my learning's have invoked feelings of anger, betrayal, helplessness, and frustration to name. To learn what completely alters your worldview it is not an easy digest, and being that i have to interact with the world some people end up catching the butt end of these emotions.

For example, a friend of mine was over a few weeks ago and caught me in one of these helpless emotional modes. I completely came across the wrong way and the next thing you know we are yelling at each other needlessly and aimlessly. The whole situation was unfortunate and unnecessary. There are many ways to communicate but what I have found in my own experience is that for the most part people do not want to listen to someone who is angry, frustrated, and problem focused. Dialogue is the healthy way to converse and should be done in a way that is aware of the perception of the ones with whom you are speaking. Ranting and venting can have they're place but not in dialogue nor discussion.

No situation is the same, but many times there are universal principles to apply, these are the ones I intend to apply for the rest of my life.

1. Think before I speak of what will happen I you do.
2. Listen to what people are saying to find out what they are meaning.
3. Speak kindly of others, and refrain from all negative gossip.
4. Respond not to sarcasm and cynical remarks, regard them as not my problem.
5. Admit when I am at fault or in error.
6. Remain calm and focused on maintaining a respectable and accepting composure.
7. Use simple and understandable concepts to communicate.
8. Respect the other persons and their opinions.
9. Respond positively to all negative judgments towards my objectives and goals.
10. Look people in the eyes when I speak to them.
11. Remember that my opinions are valuable.

I have come to a place where I must change how I communicate and anything less than these above applying principles is unacceptable. I can tolerate not being liked for my objectives, goals or beliefs, but for mere immaturity and lack of respect for others is something that can be prevented and changed.

" It is better to have the appearance of a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt"
- Mark Twain

Smells Bushy

I do not believe he is the leader or conspirator to much of anything, but we did elect him into one of the most influential positions that you can have as a human in the eyes of the PUBLIC, and I believe he fits the profile of a lot of things with the exception of someone who is really for your personal freedoms. Here are some things you might want to consider.





Here are his profound words after the 9/11 disgrace.



Here's another take on the 9/11 disgrace.

Do You Know About Eugenics?

If you wish to skip introduction fast forward to 3 min.

For The Believer Who Watches Zeitgeist.

Ana Says:
July 8, 2008 at 2:20 am

I do think this movie has several good points. As much as we don’t want to hear what is said in this movie, we need to listen. I absolutely agree with the whole “we are human beings. we have the right to know the truth, live freely, and be happy” concept. However, the public is not going to be so easily persuaded. It is truly a huge blow to hear that practically everything you have known has been a lie and you are ultimately being controlled. Its easier to dismiss everything in the movie.

People really should research this stuff and be encouraged to discover the truth themselves, whether or not the claims in Zeitgeist are real or false. That in and of itself is a good lesson. I’m sure not everything in this movie is 100% true (though i’m sure any mistakes were not intentional). But to all those religious “debunkers” out there, who are calling this movie “ridiculous” and such, take a look at your own beliefs. You believe in writings that have absolutely no proof of authenticity! THE only “proof” you possess is your undying faith in the tripe! It seems quite more pathetic to me to believe in some widespread book than the mere possibility of something different!

Religion makes absolutely no sense to me whatsoever! Do you honestly think a person will be condemned to a fiery pit for all of eternity for a single mistake in this lifetime, no matter how large? The response may come as something like: “You must pray to God to repent for your sins”. Praying to God and being “forgiven” at the snap of a finger, just gives one liscense to go out and “sin” more because they know that they will always be “forgiven”. Of course you need to recognize and perhaps apologize for mistakes you have made, but in no way can i believe that this “God”, who you claim loves us all so much, could ever condemn one for eternity. Just the same, i cannot fathom how a figure known as “Satan” could ever affect the people of Earth, much less exist. “Satan” or “The Devil” is, in my opinion, just a false idol that religious individuals use to blame all their problems on, instead of taking responsibility for their actions.

Do you realize you are living out of fear? Fear of being condemned to Hell. Fear of being rejected. Fear of change. Fear of being different.
Fear of THINKING FOR YOURSELF.

My Buddy Muneshine

Big Mune and I worked on a project together like 5 years back called OriginalJesusMusic. He has come a long way and I support what he's doing. Check him out, he is an amazing producer and quite dope on the mic too. Don't Sleep on this cat!!! And Oh! make sure you check out the joint with Fundament! That whole video is crazy fresh. Enjoy!










on Vimeo.

A Good Woman.

I must say that if you have found one... appreciate her and do what you can to make it work. My wife is such an amazing human! Her love for me is inspiring, sincere and trustworthy. I could say many things regarding her but to sum it up she is the best thing that has ever happened to me and I am a very fortunate man to have made the commitment to her side. Of course it's not always a walk in the park but it is well worth the struggles.

If you ever have a similar opportunity to experience what I have experienced the last 3+ years you will not regret it my friend, you will not regret it. Don't let that one truly good woman get away due to a insatiable vagabond prospective. Truly genuine and supportive women are not an easy find.

If you got one love one.

Sincerely,
The Peanut Gallery

At Least Consider...

Reaction vs, Action

In a recent court ordered AA meeting I had the pleasure of enduring over 20 people express god assertions and program success testimonies. It gets to be most difficult when the topics are centrally based on, or revolving around god in which today's topic was "knowledge of god's will for us, and the wisdom to stop struggling and fighting against it, letting his plan for us triumph" these types of topics are hard for me to process and share when the time comes for me to speak or pass.

First off an assertion is something that is assumed but cannot be proven either way, and if you pay attention to most conversations they are filled with assertions especially religious conversations such as in this particular meeting. These are some of the ones I can remember that were shared in one way or another.

god is a HE
god has a universal and ultimate plan for mankind
god has a ultimate plan for you and I
god wants you to know what that plan is
god needs your prayers and meditation to help you
god wrote the bible
the bible is absolute truth
god can be offended
god speaks to you
god spoke to the AA blue book authors
if it wasn't for the program I would be...

With all of these things being collectively accepted I am faced with overload of thoughts as to weather I just pass, maybe challenge the ideas, go totally off subject, or try to find a way to creatively relate. Well I didn't choose the later it was just too hard at the moment. I decided to react to all these assertions instead putting into action creative transparency. I said my name and stated that I did not work the steps but did have had a desire not to drink which unfortunately equates to limited program appreciation. I just said some broad and vague statements about life and quickly passed.

I knew as soon as it happened that I completely reacted to the whole situation versus controlling my emotions enough to be able to share the information and experience that might be beneficial for another. When I first began going to these meetings I was very intrigued by the peoples honesty and openness for some time, but the thrill has gone and long passed due to the "he's new so gets a free pass when he objects to our assertions" has run out. These are the twelve steps that I find to be unacceptable for me.

The Alcoholics Anonymous 12 steps

1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable.

2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

5. Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

I have over 120 days of sobriety which equates to roughly 40-50 meetings that I have attended and over half of the meetings are centrally focused on the "god as we understand him" subject which I choose to leave a mystery. Either way and everything else a side, my whole rant is to point out how this experience has caused me to face this battle between Reaction vs Action.

Jeaque Fresco

This man is extremely interesting. He's 92 and still moving and out thinking the majority of us. I have enjoyed being challenged by this man, he has a whole different approach to most things. Here's a snippet.

The Magic of Communion

I believe the most thrilling and relevant experiences I have ever had outside of personal inner self growth have been the magic that happens when transparent people gather and commune with no judgment, counsel, or correction. Too often when you might be sharing your heart or expressing your anxiety, anger, fear, confusion, etc. your listener tends to play counselor or big brother as if they do not experience the same feeling to some degree in some way or another. Not to say that you sit and have a pity party and call it beneficial, but the ability to listen empathize, encourage, and challenge each other in creative ways instead of talking at people, we talk to people.

Speaking with a sense of comradery and appreciation causes growth to come in both people while strengthening the bond and inspiring openness and oneness on a human level, not some spooky spiritual deal but in a way that recognizes all of us have relative experiences and can relate far more than we acknowledge to realize.

90% of the time for me at least, words do not capture my feelings or express my essence of experience. To just look someone in the eyes and transcend surface regularity, we can see ourselves in each other, and have no need to explain ourselves for they know as well deep down we share more than words relay. It's people magic and I find it to be the most amazing thing.

Scientific Restrictions

Yes, I voted to further stem cell research and have not one objection to the research weather the attempt to clone or not. There should be less opposition towards scientific expansion and development and more support for these scientist and engineers striving to make this world a better place. The things that should be opposed in my opinion are the nuclear fuckwads who keep pursuing new methods of destruction and power for the sake and benefit of no one. Einstein himself stated "I made one great mistake in my life... when I signed the letter to President Roosevelt recommending that atom bombs be made".

I believe that finding ways to further medical research is one of the most beneficial things we can do as a human race and we should stop hindering and eliminating progress that could have been achieved years if not decades ago. From Tim Leary and his psychological research that was proven in almost all his experiments (clinically supervised by qualified experts) to show amazing change and growth in the neuro field, to the stem cell scientist today, we continue to limit our possibilities due to fear and manipulation projected by critical naiveism that induces nothing but ignorance and furthered limitations that are not as some would say "God's job and decision".

Get informed and let's utilize the opportunities that are possible. Would you be willing to set aside your pessimistic views on these subjects if one or more of your loved ones were in desperate need of help from one of these fields of controversy? I would and will. For the sake of the ones I do not know and will never meet. It is up to us to snap out of it, and acknowledge every advancement we have is due to technology, not politicians and their decisions for us.

We got it!!!

We put an offer in on our house a few weeks back and we got it! 3 Bedroom, 2 bath, 2 stall attached garage, and full basement for $55,200 including 6& sales concession closing costs. It's been a long process and isn't over yet. We have applied for a 203K loan which would enable us to get an additional loan tied into our mortgage for hope fully $10-15,000. As long as the improvements we make increase the value of the home according to the appraisers before and after predictions.

The house fit the geographic specs and seems to be an all around good deal. We had looked at and/or walked through 30-50 homes including extensive online research with help of my brother in law real estate agent Brian Brinkert of Tri-County professionals. I would recommend thorough research to interested home buyers and a trust worthy agent to assist your in the journey, it has been very helpful. Good sites or organizations that helped us along the way were "SWMRIC" and "PRUDENTIAL REAL ESTATE" and "COLDWELLBANK" was helpful too in our local home searches.

Sit down bite your cheek and WATCH IT!!!

Dirty Mirrors

Those who believe they are helpless and weak, become just that. See what you really are, clean the mirror foo!

On Another Note...

I think we all at one time or another have had a sense that something is wrong. Many turn to religion or some type of spiritual reasoning to shape out some answers, while others tend to be less biased in their approach to do the same. Either way, we are in this thing together and have the similar feeling or sense nonetheless. Obviously the reasons could be endless, but there is only one common theme I wish to address and that is: The idea of man over man, and governmental empires.

People of the more religious worldview tend to be of great support to these ideas for example the elders in the church, pope, prophet etc. Because of that foundation for many it only seems logical for there ought to be elders in the communities, state and country. Which all in all might be true, I do not know. Regardless of who's right and wrong there is a common idea in every culture, and that is that there is some type of currency or trading value system setup. In none of the sacred texts that I know of is there any detailed explanation of how that money system should be set up and maintained.

With that being said I notice the game we are all playing and the toll it takes on our ability to think, reason, and question. How did we get to this point? and Where are we going as a society?, Who is in charge? Why are they in charge? and Who put them there? These questions are likely to be answered vaguely and passively.

Am I a slave? Do I have the ability to live as I desire and go as I please? Possibly and I would have to say no and no. It seems we are being governed by who knows who or what, and have hardly any rights at all if you consider the natural state of things and the loss of our bill of rights which hardly apply currently. In the midst of all our labor and fun it seems the common mind is too consumed to even entertain these ideas or too busy being entertained to care about or consider. I believe we have been a longtime project of people with extreme influence and power. Royal blood lines, and super families for the first time ever actually are creating the opportunities to be able to monitor everyone in an extremely detailed way. Not to mention pursuit their agenda of scientific created prolonged life spans.

Whomever controls the money controls the people! More and more I cannot find anything untrue about that statement. Could it be that we witnessing the culmination of centuries long super family agendas. They have been the major part of the every empire we have ever had as a human race and it seems to me that we must consider the possibility of being the recipients of long winded patient and strategic manipulation and deceit.

Fukit......it's endless.

Are we pawns? or the kings creator? What can we do?